Forbidden
by Mistifyer
Summary: Jaspers tired of all the side glances he gets from the family, the prying eyes watching him closely. When he finds a brown eyed human that calls for him in every way, blood and body; will he be able to control himself or will he give in to what everyone.
1. Forbidden

**A.N. This is my little twist on twilight. I hope you enjoy! **

**I own nothing, SM owns all. I just mix things up a bit…**

**~J POV~**

_So Wonderful. _

_So Powerful._

_So Forbidden._

My resolve was slowly breaking a little more each day. At least that's what they thought, they choose to believe that they needed to keep eyes on me every moment of everyday afraid I may snap at any second and kill the young people unsuspectingly sitting around me. They choose to believe I didn't see the looks on their faces out of the corner of my eyes. **Worry**. Feel it pouring off of them in waves. They choose to believe I was dangerous and at any moment I would give in to desire.

_So Sweet._

_So Mouthwatering._

_So Forbidden._

Concern flowed off of Alice as she sat next to me in the cafeteria and a group of girls walked by flipping their hair and attracting the attention of so many around them.

"He's fine Alice." Edward said for the thousandth time.

"We should have eaten," she said gazing off in another vision.

"You know I'm fine, I am not weak!" I said another argument that reached not a single ear for the hundredth time. "You can see this Alice; every time you worry and look ahead you do not see _**that**__." _I said more menacing than I meant.

_So Annoying._

_So heart pounding. _

_So Forbidden._

See looked at me with sad eyes and said words that forever changed my view. "Things can change Jasper." No faith in me around humans, I may have been the newest but I was not weak.

"Jasper please, she just watching out for you," Emmett said as I stood.

"I don't need her to, I'm fine." I said walking away throwing away the food that sat untouched just like every day and out the double doors into the never ending rain. I had been with the Cullen's for years and none of them had taken my past lightly. They wanted to keep their façade and no matter how many times I had tried to assure them I wanted to keep that to they still watched me closely. They could not understand how I could go from one main diet to another. Did Emmett not feast upon human, Edward not kill, yet they walk around free no one caring that they too have pasts.

"Excuse me." I sighed and let out a breath and took one in instantly regretting the decision to breathe.

_So mouthwatering._

_So fulfilling._

_So Forbidden._

I wanted to scream! I needed this more than anything instantly I stopped breathing and looked down.

**Confusion, fear, embarrassment.**

She blushed profusely and I just wanted to growl and give in to my instincts.

"I'm sorry to bother you," She said turning around. I had to get it together I felt _them _coming I needed to calm down.

"NO, sorry I apologize." I said when she turned around.

"I just needed to ask where something is. I'm Bella, by the way. Um do you know where the English building is?"

She was new, figures not a single person would ever come up to one of us.

"Jasper, and yes, I have that next by the way; here I'll walk you there." I said tightly Edward was coming towards us. She nodded her head as I lead her off.

"Be careful Jasper." He said quietly from where he was standing I growled in return and the young thing looked up at me with confusion.

"The rain," I said not stopping even as her scent tickled the back of my throat and another wave of bloodlust hit me hard. I had not felt this way since leaving my old life style.

**Unbelieving.**__

That's fine Bella. I don't believe myself either.


	2. Babysitter

**A.N. thank you for reading! I really hope you enjoyed the last chapter! I just wanted to clear up that this whole story as of right now will be through Jaspers eyes. **

**As always I own nothing, Stephenie Meyer own I all. **

I sat on a couch in my room with my hands behind my head thinking about the brown eyed girl. She knew nothing of what I was, nothing about my past, she couldn't judge me for anything because she didn't know. I scared her, I could feel it coming off of her every time my black eyes looked down at her, but mostly was confusion. She knew I was mad but did not know why, how could she know that she was everything I wanted yet everything that would bring me down. I had hunted as soon as that class was over and skipped the rest of the day when everyone else got home the fun really began.

"Jasper," Alice said walking through the door.

"He's upstairs," Edward said as I walked down the stairs.

"You shouldn't have done that!" Alice said crossing her arms.

"Done what? Nothing?"

"Put yourself in that situation, you could have killed her!"

"She's still alive!" I growled

"Because she's lucky!" Alice said back

I just walked past her and out of the house not a single one of them came close to understanding anything about me yet always so fast to jump to conclusions. I ran away from the house, away from prying eyes, away from all of them. The wind blew through my hair I just ran not going anywhere particular until I caught a scent and stopped. _She_ was getting out of her old truck pulling her hair up into a ponytail, gathering her things up and closing the door.

"This is the one huh?"

"Rose."  
"Don't Jasper, please you know how they are." she said pointing back towards the house

"Everything about her draws me in yet I managed to sit an entire class next to her and not even try. Not that I didn't want to." I said smiling slightly. "They still watch me,"

"They will always watch you, Jasper; it's as if they were born to worry. You just take thing harder because of your past." She said nodding towards Bella. She had looked are way and stared into the dense forest by her house. "She's very intuitive, your…"

"Bella, her name is Bella." _My Bella _I liked the sound of it. Rose knew I did to.

That night it stormed. The rain hit the windows of the house and I sat reading on a chair in the main room.

"I don't need you to watch me. I'm not going to go eat the whole town of Forks." I said not looking up I knew she was sitting there looking at me seriously.

**Concern**

"Jasper, she's just a human." Alice said taking the book out of my hand folding the corner and sitting it down.

"What are you getting at Alice?" I asked running a hand through my hair and sitting back in the chair.

"You want to let her in you want to have her close to you Jasper, which cannot happen with you like this."

"Like what? Goddamn you all treat me like I'm some type of newborn. I can't even walk past a human without the whole family tensing up ready to pounce on old Jasper because he just can't possibly control himself around human blood."

"Jasper please we just want to help."

"I have scars that help me remember what it's like to drink a human. Every time I look down at what they can't see I remember and stop myself before anything gets out of control you know this. You've witnessed it, I don't need babysitters. I will be fine Alice please just let me continue living free," I said if I could cry I knew I would be how I could not. She would be too,

"I've seen two endings Jasper, she dies; in one of them. I won't babysit you until you decide how this will end. Just don't do anything stupid." She said leaving. _ She dies, but how can I stop what's going to happen? She will not die._


	3. Help

**A.N. thank you all for the amazing feedback I'm getting from everyone. You all are amazing.**

**As always Stephenie Meyer owns all.**

After going to high school for so many years you start to get bored. Every day learning the same things that you've already known. You start to hate it again, we all did. Once again of course you have to keep the Cullen façade up. I now had a want for going to high school, a girl with brown eyes and brown hair who wanted to ruin everything I've worked for.

"Good afternoon Bella,"

"Hello"

**Confusion, fear.**

My eyes had turned black I knew they had god why I hadn't hunted _Stupid. _The teacher passed out books one to every table.

"I guess were sharing," she said quietly. I nodded in response as she opened the book and began. Moment passed by agonizingly slow when she finally went to turn the page I caught sight of the blood pumping through her veins in her wrist. Grabbing her arm I stopped her. _Get it together Jasper!_

**Shock,**

"I'm Sorry I…I thought you were done." She said quickly pulling her arm free I let it go and held my breath.

"Not done," I said looking at the pages. For the rest of the class I refused to breathe even one scent of that forbidden temptation. This demon in me would not win.

"Jasper, I'm sorry about earlier you seemed to be mad after what happened." She said walking up to me.

"I wasn't mad, Bella." I said smiling.

"Jasper, please were going to be late for that meeting!" Rose said grabbing my hand and pulling me away. "Stop being stupid and hunt." She growled into my ear pulling a mirror out of her pocket, my eyes were black. I turned away from the mirror and hunched against the rain until we both were far away enough to run.

"Rose,"

"Save it again Jasper, I can only save you one time at least before they catch on. You knew how she was, if you want to be near her without killing all of Forks, hunt before school." She said as the scent of deer filled our brains and our instincts gave over. Everything about our rational thought left us as we hunted.

"Don't be stupid Jasper, try to appear human to her at least, even I know your freaking her out." She said wiping a smudge from the corner of her mouth.

"Rose, thank you." She only waved goodbye as she headed back towards the school. I only sat and remembered the movement of the blood beneath her skin groaning I went to find another deer.

I heard the piano downstairs and groaned, opening my eyes. To get away from our thoughts he played the piano drown out the noise. How can you be rid of people's feelings. You don't, the worry, grief, happiness, love, sadness. All of that is always there and always will be. They try to understand I feel it. I jumped out the window of the house and ran into the forest back to _her_ house. _Get it together Jasper._


	4. observant

**Love, acceptance, fake happy.**

She lived with her father alone; no matter what he feels she tries to feel it too.

"Dad really?" she said laughing.

"Yes really, come on Bella give me some credit." He said laughing. Matching laughs I had seen Charlie around Forks and there was no denying she was his.

"Well dad I'm going upstairs. English homework you know." ** Regret. **

She just wanted out of the way away from where she had to pretend. Sounded all too familiar. I walked out of the tree line on a path that ran through the wooded area around her house, **Confusion, Recognition. **I heard the window open as she threw her head out the window.

"Jasper?" she said shocked.

I looked around before finally looking up. "Oh, hi." I said smiling

"What are you doing?"

"Walking" I said pointing to the trail

"Oh, hold on." She said disappearing and pushing the window down. _ No! Run, run away, and don't come out, please. _I wanted to run I didn't trust myself around her my brown eyed monster. I wanted to run back to a secluded place just leave, but I couldn't.

"I need to get away." She said pulling a jacket on and pushing the hood up to block some of the newly starting rain.

"Bad night?"

"No not really, just different."

"From what?" I said holding my breath as she shook her hair out from underneath the hood and replaced it.

"My mom, Arizona, everything's a little different." She said looking at me.

"I see."

"Do you hate me Jasper?" the question stopped me dead in my tracks and she turned around to face me.

"Hate you…"

"Yes, you talk to me but you don't actually talk." _Oh my demon, if you even knew._

"Bella, I don't hate you. If I hated you would you be here?"

"I don't know. Everyone tells me not to waste my time trying to talk to you just to keep walking past because you'll just turn your back." The possibility was there I could very well turn my back but even the thought made my still heart heavy I was stuck.

"I don't turn my back, nobody catches my eye, and I don't pay attention to the things people say because it's all so meaningless." She just looked at me confused.

""You didn't strike me as one of those 'bite the whole world cause it's done nothing to help me' type of people." I couldn't help myself I started laughing uncontrollably.

"Are you okay?" she asked **Confusion**

"Yes I'm fine, just remind me of something. It's getting late we should head back." I said turning around and walking back to her house.

"Why do you get mad at them?"

"At who?"

"Your family." She said pulling at the sleeves of her jacket.

"You're very observant. I don't get mad at them we just don't always see the same things." _Understatement Jasper, they see you eating everything that moves._

"Like what?"

"Nothing important, look we're here. I'll see you tomorrow," she nodded and went back into the house sighing and releasing the breath I had been holding. When she entered the house I walked until shielded by the woods and begun to run.

"You didn't kill her or try to bite her. Are you happy?" Edward asked when I walked through the front door.

"Thrilled." I said walking away

"Alice said she's going to find out about us, she saw you run away. I can't read her like most, but I can tell you she's attached. Stupidity."

How many times can this family insinuate I'm stupid? She observant knows I'm angry with all of this," I said gesturing around me. "Of course she'll find out, maybe I want her to." Edwards face twisted up **Anger**. "I'm not going to come out and tell her. She'll find out eventually without my help." _Maybe I could help a little._ Edward growled I smirked and ran upstairs.


	5. Sabotage

We arrived at school like normal Rose held me back from the rest of the group and pulled me back into the car.

"What are you doing?"

"You want her to know."

"Her to know, oh yes I want her to know."

"That's stupid."

"Again with stupid, get a better vocabulary."

"Don't insult me Jasper; I'm going to help you."

"Wait what? Help me let her know what we are."

"Alice saw it, and Edward after your little conversation knows it will happen eventually. I'm tired of you moping all the time so I'm going to help you." She said pulling out a waiting until the parking lot cleared then ran out and was back holding a little metal thing.

"Spark plug, Rose seriously where did you get that?" I asked shocked.

"Her truck."

"Rose! How will that help?"

"You are going to get out of my car, I'm going to get your car when hers won't run you take her home, seriously Jasper you're a little slow." She said pushing me out of the car. I shook my head and laughed.

"Rose babe hurry up" Emmett said laughing and walking into the school with me.

_So Wonderful. _

_So Powerful._

_So Forbidden_

"Jasper, are you going to be okay enough to do this?" Alice asked as lunch was winding down

"Yes, I'll be fine." I said looking at the back of _her _head. _ Look whose turning their back now._ I had caught her staring, she hadn't looked back since.

"Alice, he'll be fine," Emmett said throwing an arm around Rosalie's shoulder. "No worries." He said smiling.

"No worries," I said _Forbidden, forbidden, forbidden, wanted, desired, forbidden._ The same thoughts had run throughout my head ever since she had walked by the table to sit down.

"Stop thinking or leave." Edward said pinching his nose.

"Sorry, stop feeling or leave." **Aggravation.**

"Truce" he said getting up and following a crowd out. We all left heading for classes we'd been through hundreds of time, none of them wanted to go, I had another thing in mind.

"I didn't turn my back."

"Hello Jasper, you noticed that didn't you?"

"Your face gets very res when people catch you at things you know?"

"Unfortunately I do know." She said breathing in.

**Sadness, confusion,**

"What's wrong?" I asked looking at her,

"Nothing it's stupid." _ Nothing about you could possibly be stupid._

"GAHHHH" she said slamming the door and looking into the hood of her truck.  
"Are you okay?" I asked walking over.

"Of course it's you," she said under her breath. "The thing won't start and I have no idea what I'm looking for but opening the hood made me feel like I'm at least doing something." She said

"Do you need a ride home, and I can call Rosalie to see if she can fix it. Knows more than me about cars."

"Please, I don't want to bother Charlie with something like this." She said walking with me to my car.

"I'm sure Rose won't mind." I said smiling as I climbed into the other side.

"Thank you for this Jasper, really."

"Honestly it's no problem." I said smiling **Confusion**. "What's wrong with you today?"

"I don't know, just been doing a lot of thinking."

"What about?"

"I don't know it's not important."

"Nothing is unimportant Bella, something's just seemed more important than others."

"You remind me of a human fortune cookie." She said looking out the window.

"I am not." I said biting my cheek.

"I just don't want to miss anything you know. **Worry.**

"**No Bella I'm sorry I don't know.**" I said pulling into the driveway she opened her door as I breathed in one last pull of her scent for the day. She had gotten closer though and I gripped the steering wheel tightly. Quickly she kissed my cheek before getting out and practically running for the door.

_So warm,_

_So inviting,_

_So forbidden,_

I growled reaching for glasses before rolling down the window.

"I'll be here tomorrow," I said before driving off quickly to a clearing jumping out of the car I gave into my senses and hunted the first thing I could find.

"So it went well," Emmett said smiling, I only growled in return.


	6. Hunting

A.N I AM SO SORRY!!!!! It has taken me a while to post this chapter because of school starting! I'm so glad people enjoy my story thank you all so much please enjoy and at the end review!

She was so warm, inviting, torturing me with every flip of her wrist and swooshes of her hair. My sweet brown eyed girl, did I really want her to know our secret? My stopped cold heart felt like dropping when I thought of a negative reaction.

"Jasper, are you hunting tonight?" Alice said walking into my room, _my room…_ she had seen us together for years. When she found me I was happy to comply with what she saw, I would not be alone. After a while though catching side glances everywhere in a house where you thought you were trusted it starts to get to you, she could not trust me, I would never be a part of the world that she had first seen.

"Yes I'm heading out." I said standing up. She sat in the seat I had vacated. _Stop hating me ._I thought as I jumped out the window and ran into the forest.

I gave in to everything I had felt this night. All the feelings I had absorbed and put out, I had hunted three deer before I felt anything. **Shock, Confusion, Disbelief, Fear, **I stopped eating and looked up into the weary brown eyes of my sweet demon.

"Bella you have to sit down. Please I'm not going to hurt you." I said sending a wave of calm towards her. She motioned to her mouth and I wiped mine on the back of my sleeve.

"You,"

"Bella I promise you I will answer any and every question you have just please let me take you home."

"When,"

"In an hour, I promise I will tell you."

"Everything,"

"As much as you want to hear,"

"Everything," she said getting up off the ground and walking back the way she came. Quickly I ran home and burst through the front door.

"Hunting, Alice; Hunting are you crazy?" I yelled looking at her.

"I knew she would be okay."

"Did you not tell me yourself that things can change?" the family had crowded into the living room now.

"Hunting, she knows because she caught me hunting." I said raising my arms into the air.

"Alice, that was dangerous." Carlisle said

"I knew her feeling would stop him from doing it." Alice said crossing her arms in front of her.

"I have to get back to her, I told her I would tell her all she wanted to know."

"You shouldn't have done that." Esme said

"What would you like me to have told her? I'll be back later."I said running through the woods back to her house. I would do the hardest thing ever, tell someone my past things only Edward had heard when I was weak, and Alice had seen when I thought she forever loved me. things Maria only saw and others in our group. Everything is what she wanted to know, _Can you tell her everything Jasper? Or will your Sweet browned eyed girl run from you?_


	7. Long Time

**A.N Thank you all for your patience! I hope you continue to like my story **

**As always I own nothing Stephenie Meyer owns all. Please read and review I love hearing from you!**

Here we stood looking at each other. I had scared her jumping into her window causing her to scream then turn red. Before she could say anything I told her all about my life before, my time with Maria, my life with the Cullen's. I hid nothing from her laid myself out for her prepared to be crushed. We had sat there in silence ever since.

"What now," she asked looking up at me expectantly.

"I'm not sure; I've never done this before." I said shrugging my shoulders. She only laughs a beautiful sound that I want to hear for the rest of my existence. "Why are you laughing." I asked confused.

"I'm sorry, would you understand if I told you none of what you just said is funny?" she asked looking at me apologetically

"Yes, because I've lived it and know firsthand none of it is funny."

She nodded "I'm sorry,"

"Bella don't apologize you have no reason to, I should apologize, I just don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"How you can listen to that and not feel even a little bit of fear?"

"I don't know, I guess I just understand more. I wasn't really shocked except for at first," she said blushing motioning me to sit down next to her. "Hold still,"

The tips of her fingers gently worked their way across my face momentarily warming my skin. Swiftly yet gently I felt her warm lips touch my cool ones and I was lost, if I forever wanted to hear her laugh I forever wanted to feel her lips on my. _Forever is a long time._

"How did it go?" Rose asked when I jumped into my room shortly after.

"Very well I believe. She didn't freak out." I said smiling I was happy for the first time in years,

"So what happens now?"

"I don't know Rose, she intrigues me, and she didn't even feel afraid, of anything." I said in disbelief

"Be smart jasper. Also stop with the smile." She said smiling and leaving the room. For the first time in years I wished I could sleep so I could dream again.

I drove into the drive way of her house as Charlie was leaving he eyed me cautiously and stopped in his tracks.

"Jasper Cullen, right." He said crossing his arms.

"Yes sir, I was just here to pick Bella up, we were going to talk about a project before school."

**Disbelief** "Really, what class?"

"English sir," he would not believe me and I knew it.

"Fine, she's upstairs. Don't do anything stupid." Charlie said pointing at me. " I do have ways to make sure you two actually made it to school." He said getting into the cruiser and pulling out a little faster than necessary. I began laughing at the attempt to scare me off and walked into the house and sat down in a chair in the kitchen.

"OH!" she said clutching at her heavily beating chest when she rounded the corner into the kitchen.

"Sorry I scared you," I said bowing my head a little.

"It's nothing I just wasn't expecting you." She said smiling brightly.

"I should have warned you also, really Bella I apologies." I said looking up at her.

"Well, I was just going to eat then I was going to leave." She said grabbing cereal from a cabinet.

"I'm driving today," I said smiling she returned my smile brightly.


	8. Ruin

I had been answering questions from her all day.

Did I enjoy being like I was?

_How can I even begin to answer that?_

Would I reverse it if I could?  
_Would I?_

Why do you and your family argue all the time?

_It's complicated? _

Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?

_Do you realize I'm amazed?_

Why can't you just tell me stuff?

_Why aren't you running?_

"Jasper please talk to me straight." She pleaded as I drove her home after school.

"Straight?"

"Just tell me anything you can, want to tell me let me in." she said it had been three days since she had seen me hunting and three days of unanswered questions.

"I'm sorry Bella. What do you want to know?"

"Anything, I know about you now Jasper what do you plan on doing about it?"

"I can't answer that Bella. "  
"Why can't you?"

"Because, Bella I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen next."

"Okay, at least you're answering me." she said smiling. "We'll find out what will happen next it'll be fine."

"Chill out Jasper."

"What?"

"Really, even I know that you're freaking out. What are you afraid of?" Emmett asked sitting on the edge of the chair next to me.

"What will happen if I lose control?

"What do you mean?"

"I hunted with her watching didn't even phase me that she was there. I smelt her Emmett and continued. "

"Don't be depressing,"

"I have to be Emmett what else can I be she will leave. Can I let her?"

"No, probably not, enjoy what you have why you can. Unless you change her; you won't have her forever, enjoy it." Emmett said leaving.

_My life has nothing for her._

I feel stupid. Standing in front of her door with flowers and a smile hoping shell open the door so I can enjoy what I have. _Emmett will pay for this._ The girls thought I should do this.

"Jasper, what are you doing here?"

"Bella, I wanted to apologize for being how I was. This is all so new for me, being what I am and only being surrounded with my kind for the years I have been and then meeting you a human who causes me to believe that the world will not end with me being watched but loved and trusted, I don't want to lose you." I said pulling her into me as I drop the flowers onto the ground.

"You won't lose me Jasper; I honestly don't think I can leave now." She said kissing my cheek as she pulled e into the house.

We had spent the day together talking about all the stupid stuff life had brought her. Her mother and Phil, her friends in Phoenix. She told me that talking to me felt normal, she didn't have to pretend to be something she wasn't when talking to me she just had to talk. We both were normal. The door to my room slammed open and Alice walked through, I had been with Alice for years knowing everything she felt **Sadness**. If she could cry she would be.

"Alice, what's wrong."

"I have come to terms with everything that's happened between us. I promise you I have, even though sometimes I may shout about things that are nonsense and don't need to be yelled about. We watch you and you knew it, then one day you came to our room and just screamed forever about how we watched you. It killed me because I knew it was coming and no matter how I changed the future we were destined not to be together, then you meet her and I know why. I have an answer to all the madness."

"Alice,"

"Don't interrupt me" she said throwing up her hands and glaring at me. "Do not ruin this Jasper, not after what I just saw; you cannot ruin whatever this is. Because as much as I want it to just go away I know now that it won't just go away."

"Alice I don't understand."

"You won't understand now but later you will, please just don't do anything stupid." Alice said walking out as another wave of emotion hit me.

_You still won't stop hating me, _


	9. cooperate

"I've decided to cooperate."

"I'm sorry what?" Bella said stopping mid bite on the pizza before here.

"I was told I was selfish once, by someone who told me they loved me. Selfish and stupid, I still am because I can't forget about you and I don't want to, I've known you for weeks and nothing at all can explain why I love you as much as I do." Jasper said smiling.

"Jasper,"

"Don't say anything I'll see you later." She was shocked it flowed off of her in waves as I walked out the door.

"Jasper wait!" I slowed down enough for her to catch up she grabbed my wrist, and pulled, it didn't affect me but I got the point.

"What is it Bella?" her fingers sent warm shocks through my arm making me feel almost alive again.

"Do you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"That you love me enough to get over yourself?" she said laughing.

"More, I love you enough to do this." I pulled her into me and kissed her gently not caring who or what was watching.

"More than I can even show you." I whispered when we broke apart.

_She dies in one… _

"Why are you worried about that?" Edward asked sitting down beside me on the couch.

"How can I not, I can't lose her I know this and I will fall apart if she does."

"It's not painful, in her sleep… when she's ninety years old." He said staring at the floor in front of him. "Your there just like you are now and will always be."

"What, you mean her dying has nothing to do with me?"

"Alice thought it would scare you away if she told you she died. She does die just not the way you envisioned it."

"That little….."

"Jasper really can you blame her?"

"What do you mean?"

"A human over her, she thought you were happy with her and then you no longer are, and now you're confessing your love and kissing a human in public without a care in the world."

"I see,"

"Do you? Can you make her like us to live this life? The cards are in your hand Jasper, seventy three years from now will she be dying in her sleep or still young hunting with you?"

"I don't know." It pained me to think about the topic of this conversation.

"Go to her, be happy forget about this for now." I stood up and left nodding my head to him as I did.


	10. trust

"Bella?" I opened her window and looked in for her.

"Yes, Jasper is this going to become a habit scaring me?" she said standing up and putting a notebook down on her table.

"Only if you want me to." The day she no longer wanted me would be the day my life would end.

"Stop that, why do you always have to be so moody?" she said smiling and scooting to the edge of her bed. "What did you want?" she asked motioning for me to sit down beside her.

"You, I just wanted to see you."

"Why, where did you think I would be?"  
"ON a plane going straight for phoenix,"

"Would that stop you?"

"No, probably not."

"Why did you think that anyways?" she asked sincerely curious

"The way you found out about me most people would die on the spot, trust me I've seen it; you're not even scared." I said amazed.

"How do you know I'm not scared? What if right now I fear for my life because of what you are?"

"You're not afraid at all; I read people's emotions I know exactly how everyone feels at every time of the day. You're not afraid at all."

"You read people?"

"Feel their emotions, sometimes it's no big deal, but other times the persons essence is so strong their emotion takes over and I feel it too."

"Are you the only one?"

"That I know of, but I'm sure there are more like me."

"So your brothers and sisters?"

"Thoughts and future, Edward and Alice,"

"So for twenty-four hours for ever you feel people's emotions?"

"Yes, Edward plays his piano, and Alice can somehow control what she gets, but what do I do? Even sitting her with you I can tell you're confused and astounded."

"I'm sorry as long as I'm around you I will try to stop feeling." She said laughing and lying down. I lay down beside her and we both rolled facing each other.

"Is it always as bad as you make it sound?" she asked getting comfortable.

"What I'm going to tell you will probably make you think twice about this," I said motioning between us. "I found Alice after I left Maria and went out on my own, she looked so frail at first but there was a light to her that you could tell would not diminish, she had told me that she was waiting for me and that I was late. She showed me compassion that I was not used to. Alice told me that we were destined to be together and I would see eventually, she even tried to give me a date that I would see, when we meet the Cullen's I knew she was right, that everything she told me was the truth and we would always be together. As the years went by her emotions changed, where there had been laughter was now somber, hope was gone, her faith in me had vanished, her happiness was now fear. I caught her looking at me from the corner of her eye every time I looked her way and she would look away or mask it with a smile, and then I saw the rest of the family was doing it and I snapped. Tour up the house and fled, didn't comeback for months. The day I meet you was the day I realized why I had left her, we were not meant to be together not without trust."

"Did she love you?"

" '_Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.' _ I'm sure she did and does but how can there still be love?"

"I promise you I will not look at you like that; I will not distrust you to where you go crazy."

"How can you promise me that, you wonderful creature?"

"Because I love you." She said kissing my forehead gently.

A.N: I am so sorry I have been taking so long to update these chapters!! I want to thank you all for the support you have given me throughout the writing of this and I hope you continue to support me in the many chapters to come! You all are wonderful please read and review I love hearing from you! 


	11. Fear

**A.N. I know I take forever to upload these chapters! Thank you all for reading this and being patient with my slowness! Please read and review I love hearing from you!**

Lying next to her listening to her even breathes as she slept, was the most peaceful thing. I had found my peace away from emotions; there were only flickers here not a constant flow. He had his piano I had her breathe.

If I could fall asleep I believe at that moment I would, but the sun began peaking up through the trees just penetrating the clouds enough to wake her up.

"Good morning,"

"Not yet," she said rolling over and curling up against me.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Going back asleep? What does it look like I'm doing?" she said groggily looking up at me eyes still closed.

"I have to hunt, Bella; go back to sleep I'll be back soon."I said getting up she sighed and grabbed a pillow instead.

The wind blew past me as I ran throughout the woods looking for anything to hunt.

"You were gone last night."

"Rose good observation," I said stopping

"Don't try that on me," she said stopping right next to me, all I could do was smile. "You were with her last night weren't you." She said smiling.

"Yes, she's still alive but I'm sure Alice has already told you that." The smile fell off of my face

"Oh doesn't even go there, you know I'm the one who never once changed how I felt."

"I know, trust me I know."

"You love her don't you?" Rose said sitting down and smiling.

"Yes, and she loves me I can feel it." I said smiling

"Lucky you, now you do realize we are family; maybe she would like to meet us." Rose said standing up

"Rose, don't you dare."

"Why brother, are you ashamed of us? How will we ever go on knowing that?"

"Rose, must you do this?" she only smiled in return and left.

"Bella, wake up now." I said bending down to where I was eye to eye to her.

"Do I have to?" she said keeping her eyes closed.

"Yes, you do." I said laughing as she opened her eyes "Good morning."

"Yes it is." She said smiling pulling me onto the bed with her and using me as a pillow.

"No Bella, you have to get up. I want to take you to my house." She pushed herself up and looked at me

"Are you being serious?" she said the first wave of fear I had felt from her the whole time.

"Yes, but if you don't want to,"

"No I'm getting ready," she said jumping up and rummaging through her drawers. All I could do was groan in disappointment, Rose would die after this.

I had dropped Bella off at her house with the promise to return later that night. I walked through the front door of the house and sat next to Emmett.

"Everything seemed to go well tonight," he said stretching on the couch.

"Yes I guess it did, she was horrified the whole time though," I said resting my face in my hands.

"Scared, the whole time; why?" He asked looking at me intensely.

"I have no idea, what if it's because of what we are? I sent her calm over and over again, but she still countered it with fear."

"What's wrong?" Edward said walking down the stairs.

"Bella was scared the whole time, did you pick up anything?" Emmett asked

"I don't know I can't read her,"

"You can't?" I said confused

"Not at all, sorry Jasper; I can't help you."

"Why don't you just ask her?" Rose said flipping the page of her magazine.

"What if I'm right and it is what we are that's scaring her."

"Then was she really meant for this life in the first place?" Alice said walking down the stairs

"You don't know for sure Jasper, don't beat yourself up." Esme said following Alice. _I can't lose her; my life will not go on without her._

"Then talk to her," Edward replied

"Your late," she said moving over allowing me a space to lie next to her.

"I have to talk to you about today." I said looking at her closely, she looked confused and then she knew.

"Oh, you felt it didn't you?" she said looking down.

"Why were you scared of them? The whole time Bella, I thought you didn't care." I said sitting in the chair in her room.

"I don't care, I was just so overwhelmed. How would you be, put yourself in my shoes." She said looking up at me.

"Bella, I'm sorry it's just, I don't know just go to sleep."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you, you have the right to feel." I said smiling kissing her forehead as she lay down. My Bella was afraid of us that I could tell. Then why did she still call to me at night in her sleep.


	12. Alice

**A.N, Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it! You have no idea how happy it makes me seeing what you all have to say! At the beginning of the story I said Jasper would be the only view, well for this one chapter he isn't. Please welcome Alice! **

It was my room too. Normally I would have been happy to move, not away from him; but if space was needed then I would move to provide it. Space was needed to make sure he wasn't crazy, its selfish of me to behave the way I have been I know this; I have been hateful to Bella and him with her death secret, we had been together for years and I never once got a bad vision until he began paying attention to how we looked at him. Slowly the figures gained bodies and the voices got faces all but one. One little human who pleaded for what we are not to happen to her no matter what the situation, one little human who was not in our future when I first saw us.

"Have you seen anything new?" Edward asked walking through the trees next to the creek and standing beside me.

"No, nothing new; she still doesn't have a face but I know who it is." I said throwing another rock into the creek.

"She's the one; I thought you said everything was fine." He said turning my face towards him, I was not a two year old none of them had the right to treat me like one. "If you would stop being one then we wouldn't need to, if she's in danger Alice you must tell Carlisle or even Jasper."

"OH and what would he do? Run off again when he finds out! It would kill them all if he left again, and he will not come back this time, I've looked at all the possibilities." Slowly the real world faded away, the first time it happened I was terrified, but now it was hard to tell the real from the future, everything was the same as it has always been, Carlisle by the desk in his office, Rosalie and Emmett in the corner not looking at the rest of the room, Edward helping Esme pick up a fallen pot, I was not supposed to be there my body was rejected from this presence. Jasper and his human were the center of attention.

"_You promised me!" she screamed at him causing Rose to flinch further into Emmett._

"_Bella, please you were…." _ That was a first he never said her name before.

"_You still weren't you promised me jasper!" she said falling to her knees as red silently streaked down her cheek._

"Alice, come back to me Alice what did you see?" Edward asked shaking me violently.

"It was her, the best news I've heard all year,"

"Alice, was it different?" he said hope shining in his eyes

"Some parts, I have to spread the great news." I said walking up to the house, he was so moody it was perfect to manipulate.

"Alice, what's wrong." He asked closing the book in his hand.

"I have come to terms with everything that's happened between us. I promise you I have, even though sometimes I may shout about things that are nonsense and don't need to be yelled about. We watch you and you knew it, then one day you came to our room and just screamed forever about how we watched you. It killed me because I knew it was coming and no matter how I changed the future we were destined not to be together, then you meet her and I know why. I have an answer to all the madness."

"Alice," he said going to get up from his chair

"Don't interrupt me" I said throwing my hands up. "Do not ruin this Jasper, not after what I just saw; you cannot ruin whatever this is. Because as much as I want it to just go away I know now that it won't just go away."

"Alice I don't understand."

"You won't understand now but later you will, please just don't do anything stupid." I said leaving the room. I was not an evil person I just needed some hope of my own.

**A.N, I do not dislike Alice! She is my favorite character but sometimes you got to mix it up a bit. Please keep reading I'm bringing Jasper back next! Let me know what you think!**


	13. Nightmares

**A.N Sorry for the break, I got a concussion and anyone who's ever had one can tell you that writing on a concussion is not a smart thing to do! I'm back now and hoping not to get hurt anymore! Well hope you enjoy!**

Everything was different with her; the sky even seemed brighter when she smiles. Life would be simpler if I never felt people the way I did, I would not be the way I was now. My peace was when she was asleep listening to her breathing feeling no emotions. Until the dreams came, all I felt when she slept was fear, now she wasn't sleeping and it took its toll on her.

"Close your eyes," I said kissing her closed eyelids as she did so.

"I don't want to go to sleep," she said opening them again and kissing me fully.

"Why," I asked pushing her back a little.

"I just dream,"

"Are they that bad?" I asked looking at her intently

"Not really, sometimes there pleasant, but then again some nights they aren't." she said curling up against me.

"Go to sleep, I'll chase all the dreams away." I said smiling; she only laughed and nestled in closer to me.

"I'll hold you to that," she said within minutes falling asleep.

"How is she?" Carlisle asked as I walked by his office.

"Last night was a good night, the dreams never got bad."

"Maybe you calm her down,"

"I thought that at first, but I'm not sure now. I got there one night and she had already fallen asleep and was crying at the window, wouldn't let me in. She doesn't remember any of this." I said shaking my head.

"Hmmm, I'll keep looking and see what else I can find out for you," he said walking back into his office.

_Why are her nightmares scared of me..?_

I walked up to the house through the yard. She and Charlie were laughing about something, it felt rude ringing the door bell, there was not much that she truly laughed with him about.

"Hey, we were just talking about you." She said kissing my cheek and pulling me through the door.

"Really, should I be afraid?" I asked looking through the kitchen doorway.

"No, just come on." She said pulling me into the house fully. The smell of food hit me as soon as I was through the door.

"Bella,"

"Don't start Jasper, this was Charlie's idea, I figured it might just be fine for one night." she said apologetically. I smiled and allowed her to pull me into the kitchen.

"Jasper," Charlie said getting up to shake my hand.

"Mr. Swan," I said nodding.

"Jasper, Dad was wondering if you would have dinner with us." Bella said pulling me over to a chair and motioning for me to sit down. We ate pasta and I answered questions, how old I was, what I wanted to do, how did I like forks, did I plan on leaving Forks after high school, what colleges were I looking into. We talked for hours and then watched the game until Bella got tired and fell asleep in my arms on the couch.

"Can I take her up?" I asked Charlie after the game.

"Might as well, shell wake up sore on that couch, it's the second bedroom." He said I picked her up and carried her to her bed.

"Are you leaving?" she mumbled when I laid her down.

"What would Charlie think if I never came back down; I'll be back in a bit." I said kissing her forehead and leaving the room.

"Jasper, you seem nice, and all she talks about is you. Don't hurt her… well goodnight, drive home safe." He said showing me out the door.

_Don't hurt her. How can I keep her without hurting her…?_


	14. Warmth

**A.N. I am so sorry this took so long! My internet stopped working and there was no way to post it from another computer! Please read and review I really do love hearing from you!**

She was dreaming again. I pulled her closer to me as she began to wake up.

"Bella,"

"I'm fine, I think." She said holding on to me tightly.

"Just tell me what they're about." I said pulling her back a little and looking at her closely.

"That's the thing; everything's so dark that I can't. I know your there I can hear you but all that's around me is darkness and pain. I don't know why I'm there or what happened but it's all so real." She said burying her face into my neck and inhaling deeply.

"I know the pain, I feel it. Bella what does it feel like to you I feel you pain I know it unimaginable but what does it feel like?"

"Fire, I just feel like I'm on fire. I dream a lot, I'll wake up in different rooms but I've never felt a dream before," she said sitting up and pulling he leg over my waist. "But when I wake up and feel you here, you cool me down again, not the temperature of your skin, but for a split second when I'm in between dream and reality I feel like you. It's as if my fingers leave a dent in your skin instead of gliding off." She said grabbing my upper arm as if to prove her point; gently she pulled me up to kiss me. Never had anything felt as good as that kiss. Normally our kisses felt like fireworks anyways but this one felt as if the sky was rushing past us and I never wanted it to end. "Then you warm me up again," she said as I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against hers.

"Charlie woke up he's coming this way," I said running my lips over her skin from forehead to throat. She moaned a little causing me to laugh under my breath and slip out from underneath her and out the window as Charlie opened the door. "Jasper," she whispered just low enough for me to hear it and Charlie not to.

"Bella, are you okay?" Charlie asked his voice was groggy.

"Yeah, just another dream, I was walking again why?"

"I just heard noises coming from in here and I just thought I should check it out."

"Nightmares again, like when I was little. I'm fine dad really I was probably just talking in my sleep." She said getting up and hugging him before lying back down. Pleased Charlie left I waited until he was back asleep before jumping through the window again.

"That was rude," she said pouting.

"I told you he was coming." I said lying down and pulling her on top of me.

"After you distracted me," she said kissing my neck.

"You need to sleep," I said trying hard not to lift her head and kiss her; she rested her head on my chest and soon fell asleep.


	15. Burn

A.N. Once again I am breaking my set character and giving you another, welcome Bella.

It was hard to want sleep at night between the dreams and Jasper. Just seeing him waiting by the car was enough to drive me crazy. When he smiled it was beautiful you couldn't deny him a return smile that would soon lead to a kiss in the parking lot of the school which was fine by me too.

"Good morning," he whispered straightening up, he was a bit taller than me but he didn't seem to mind.

"You left last night," I said waking up alone had been different I had gotten used to seeing him in the morning.

"Charlie came back while you were sleeping so I left for home; the sun was coming up anyways." He said putting an arm around my shoulders and walking me to the doors.

Last night was wonderful waking up and getting him to come alive a little more. His kiss was amazing and it caused my heart to race but he was always reserved, I don't know how strong he really is but just the way nothing seems to harm him gives me a clue. I had used all the power in my arms to try to even leave a little dent in his arm and nothing worked.

"So Bella, I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my house and try meeting the family again." Jasper asked eyes downcast.

"Again… I guess I didn't leave to good of an impression," my cheeks felt flared and I knew they were red.

"Your fine," he said kissing my cheeks and hugging me close. "They understand, I'm not supposed to tell you this but they were nervous too, it's been forever since we've had guest that know about us." I just laughed as we both walked to class and went our separate ways.

I stood brushing my hair in the mirror in our tiny bathroom.

"Bells you going somewhere tonight?" Charlie asked standing in the door way.

"Yeah Jaspers invited me to dinner tonight so I'm going over there again, do you mind" I asked sitting the brush down and facing him.

"No your fine I'm just going to turn in early tonight, just try and be home at a reasonable time." He said leaving the doorway as the bell rang.

"Are you ready?" he asked as I walked out the door and towards his car.

"Bella good evening," Esme said smiling causing her kind eyes to crinkle up.

"Hello, how have you been?"

"Very good, you know everyone are you comfortable staying?" she asked

"Yes," it wasn't a lie I was comfortable now, there was no awkward feelings or discomfort like there used to be. It just felt normal and natural.

"Bella, Jasper tells me you have been having nightmares lately?" Carlisle said walking into the kitchen

_Oh he has…_

"Just a few, it's nothing really just nightmares."

"Can you tell me about them?" He asked gesturing me upstairs. Glaring at Jasper over his shoulder I followed Carlisle to a spare room. I knew it was his office; my dreams took me here every night. I paused at the door,

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked putting an arm around my waist.

"Yes, um can you excuse me for a moment please," I said walking back through the door and outside. I sat down in a seat on the back porch with my head between my legs trying to breath.

"Bella, are you okay?" Rosalie asked sitting down next to me.

"What would you say if I told you I think I'm going crazy?" I asked sitting up and closing my eyes.

"Well I'd tell you to get help, but by the looks of you you're beyond it." She said shrugging her shoulders.

"I've been having nightmares lately. I'm burning inside and I'm screaming but nobody can hear me. Then it stops I cool off and I'm in the office I can hear people talking but I'm not paying attention to what they have to say. I'm just crying red, and I look up and Jaspers there, but it's not him. Now all I see is love but in my dream when I look up I just see a monster, and I scream at him until I wake up."

"Maybe you should get help."

"Thanks," I grumbled.

"Bella, it's just a dream. You have nothing to worry about," she said standing up and taking my hand.

"Now, Jasper is waiting upstairs in his room, but I'm sure you may want to apologize to Carlisle first. I'm sure it'll eat at you all night." Rosalie said walking through the door. I quickly followed.

JPOV

Her anxiety level shot up as soon as Carlisle opened the door to his study, there was nothing that would get her to walk through that door.

"Jasper, her dreams have to originate from here. There's no reason for her to have been as afraid as she was. Maybe we will continue this another day in another location. Just calm her down please, I can hear her heart from here." He said sitting down behind his desk. I left and went to find her only hearing Rose found her first; I went and sat in my room until she came up.

"Hey," she said smiling and sitting on my lap in the little chair in the corner of my room.

"Hello," I said kissing her forehead.

"I apologized to Carlisle; I don't really know what just happened to be honest." She said playing with a button on my shirt.

"You got scared, there's nothing wrong with that, I completely disagree with Rose, I don't think you need help at all." I said smiling at her.

"Did you hear the whole conversation?" she asked eyes wide.

"No just the end, I didn't try to over hear it, I just walked by while trying to find you." I said standing as she rose.

"Do you ever think of the future?" she asked looking out the window.

"Not until recently, I've had so many tomorrows that I just stop thinking about them but, now that you're in the picture with me I think about the future all the time. Bella I will be this way forever, you won't." I said wrapping my arms around her.

"In my dreams I burn, like I'm on fire. I just need you to promise me something."

"Anything I said turning her around and kissing her,"

"Never let me burn," she said breaking the kiss momentarily.

_My sweet monster, how can you have just broken my heart?_

**A.N please let me know what you think! I love all the support I'm getting; I'm trying to make the chapters longer for those of you who have asked. =)**


	16. Insanity

**A.N. I am so sorry I have kept you waiting for this long! Time has just escaped me completely with school being as hard as it is this year! I don't think I could apologize enough to you guys that keep me going with all the positive things you have to say!**

_Promise me…_

_Never let me burn….._

I was not to keep her. I would rather lose her in her sleep than break my promise and it killed me inside to think about it. I know she doesn't understand what her promise means; I have no heart left to tell her. Every time I hold her close I die, or whatever it is that is left for me to do; inside. I found her after all this time and I cannot lose her.

"You're over thinking this completely," Edward said flipping the page of his book

"How, I think I am thinking about this just enough." I said closing my eyes and sighing, wishing to become part of the couch underneath me.

"Do be melodramatic, you know that if you told her what it meant she would understand." He said looking up at me annoyance flowing off of him greatly.

"It's not that easy, if she doesn't know then she can't tell me that she doesn't want to be a part of this."

"Does she have a choice in this?" he asked

"Yes, this is her choice, I know how you feel about this life, and its true it is like hell, but there is so much more to it. I could have her forever, there was a chance for that, and I don't believe I'm being over dramatic, I'm just dramatic enough." I said crossly.

"By sitting here doing nothing driving me and yourself crazy with all your thoughts on this, and you don't even know if you are right or wrong." He said going back to his book.

"Have you listened in on what she told Rose? Does it sound a little familiar?" I said standing up and walking out.

**A.P.O.V**

I sat on the stairs listening to the conversation playing out in front of me. It thrilled me a little bit just to listen to the way he sounded, agitated. _Join the club._ As he walked out of the house I waited until he could no longer be heard before walking into the room.

"Well that was interesting," I said sitting next to Edward on the couch. He sighed and closed his book giving me the look. "What? Should I be ashamed that I enjoyed it a little?" I said raising my hands in defense.

"It is killing him," he said after rolling his eyes at my previous remark.

"Not for long, you know how it ends." I said crossing my arms and sinking into the couch.

"So do you, you should just tell him, you owe it to him." Edward said trying to open his book again. I took it and threw it against the wall. "Really," he said crossly.

"I do not owe him anything. He left me for nothing," I said venomously

"You owe him you sanity, psych ward… remember that little detail? He owes you his sanity as well, but for right now there is absolutely nothing he needs to do for you, but you have the secret that could end this little lapse back into insanity." He said standing up and picking up the book inspecting the spine for damage.

"You have the secret to, why didn't you tell him right now if you're so worried about it." I reminded him, he was making me mad, I let him in on this little secret of mine and here he was trying to throw it back into my face.

"This is not my job," he said holding both hands up,

"That didn't stop you from telling him about her death." I said pursing my lips and pouting a little, that had really gotten jasper going, I thought telling him that would end all of this quickly.

"That was just rude, he was going to leave again, and Esme would kill us both if she knew we both knew what really was going to happen." He said shrugging his shoulders and placing the book back on the bookshelf.

"How are you so indifferent to all of this?" I asked truly curious.

"I've seen it coming, I guess I just figured there's no point in fighting all of this," Edward said shrugging his shoulders again. "All I know is that you are testing all of our patience, figure out what **you** are going to do about this, and quick before others decide for you." He whispered to me looking out the window Jasper had come back with Bella and they were sitting on the hammock in the back yard.

_How precious..._

"If you want to be more believable, I'd wipe that look of your face fist, it looks like you just ate something sour." Edward said laughing before walking up stairs.

**J.P.O.V**

I don't know why I brought her back here, going to her place was supposed to be my escape from the house, and from Edwards nagging. This was wonderful though. We laid in the hammock in the yard she slowly traced circle on my chest with her eyes closed just sitting there. It was peaceful absolutely no feelings were coming from her. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked opening her eyes and trying to look up at me.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," I said smiling at her.

"You're lying," she said giving me a look that could rival Esme and Edward.

"Really Bella it's nothing important," I said looking at her, she was beautiful, this light from the little bit of sun reflected in her hair bringing out many different colors, she glowed almost. I pained me to see this, knowing.

"Jasper…" she said looking down at me, I knew it was evident that what I was feeling was written out on my face.

"Bella, Esme made food for you; she figured that if you were over here it meant you hadn't eaten yet." Rose said leaning against the open doorway of the sliding glass door.

"I guess I should go then, I don't want to be rude." Bella said blushing a little as she tried to carefully maneuver off of the hammock, I gently gathered her up and sat her down on even ground as I rose to.

"Jasper, Edward to me to rescue you, relax. Even Emmett can notice it today, don't worry everything will be fine." Rose whispered under her breath to where Bella couldn't hear her. I followed Bella inside passing Alice on the couch, for the first time in forever I didn't care if she hated me or not, this thought made me smile. I had finally moved on, her eyes went blank and I knew she was seeing it. It stung a little but no thought of hate went through me. I was finally free of guilt.

"Finally," Bella said sitting down in front of the plate of sandwiches in front of her. "A smile that reaches you eyes," she said looking down and playing with a crumb of bread. I laughed and leaned over the table to kiss her. Her blush intensified as she realized the audience surrounding us, Esme, Rose, and Alice in the living room. This made me laugh more as I began talking to Rose while she ate.

_Maybe I can have both…_

**A.N. once again I am so sorry it has taken so long! Please let me know what you all think I thrive on hearing your thoughts! Please read and review =)**


	17. Shut Down

**A.N I AM SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! Life has been insanely hectic and I just have found no time to write! I really hope to make it up to you all by sticking with it! Here it goes.**

"Hey Jazz, I'm going hunting do you want to come?" Emmet asked standing in the doorway of my room looking at me pleadingly.

"Yeah I'll come, we just can't go far okay?"

"Hell yeah! Finally someone!" he said looking excited as we both left the house and headed into the woods. The sun was not high today; rain would be coming masking the scent of things around us. I would be lying if I said I didn't secretly love it. The rest of us would too.

"What's been wrong lately?" Emmet asked as we walked through the woods. As quick as we were it took the fun out of it to run after the nearest target, taking our time was something me and Emmet were masters of.

"Me," I said laughing "you know me I over think everything," I said looking up as it began to rain. The low light reflected into the drops causing sparkling effects. "Breathtaking,"

"still can't get over it, trust me I know the feeling," Emmet said laughing slowly before tensing up, "There's deer up ahead, not too sure if I want that today though," he said pouting a little.

"Sorry bud but that's the choice today," I said taking off after them. We arrived at the clearing at the same time going after the same animal, our hunting instincts took over and we fought our way to the deer, Emmet pushed me out of the way and got there first. Growling and hissing I caught the scent of something sweeter, running towards it my eyes glazed over in pure blood lust as I caught it and began to drink.

_So sweet,_

_So fulfilling,_

_Forbidden._

**A.P.O.V.**

Emmett wanted to hunt, I definitely did not. I needed to but Emmett's pace was to slow and aggressive for my. I knew he would end up going with Jasper and it made me laugh at just how predictable the two were. The rest of us sat in the living room doing nothing in particular, Edward and Carlisle played chess while the three of use girls talked about nothing in particular.

"She really is adorable," Esme said out of nowhere

"What are you talking about?" Rose said laughing

"The girl, I honestly don't think she realizes how funny she actually is!" Esme said I just rolled my eyes and that ended the conversation. My eyes began to glaze over and I stiffened up, I was getting used to the visions, they did not scare me anymore and the rest of the family almost always over looked them. This one terrified me.

"EDWARD!" I yelled but he was already out the door and on his way.

**J.P.O.V**

A huge weight knocked me off balance quickly I turned around and growled at the person only to be meet by Emmett's chest.

"Get off me!" I yelled trying to throw him off.

"STOP!" Edward yelled pushing through Emmett and punching me straight in the face sending me flying. I hit a tree and slid down it, before I could get up ready to fight I caught site of what they were messing around. Tangled mess of brown hair was attached to my monster, all thoughts were on her and on what I prayed I was not actually seeing. Slowly I got up to make sure if what I saw was true, I fell to my knees next to her and gathered her up, she had blacked out, smoothly I picked her up and began the trek back to the house. My mind shut down.

**A.N: I know it short but I didn't want to drag this one out any. Trust me you will definitely get the next chapter very very soon! I love hearing from you all, please tell me what you think.**


	18. Pain

**A.N. two chapters two days! Hopefully it can stay like this until the end!**

"I didn't even know she was there," I said with my head resting in my hands

"Did you not smell her?" Carlisle asked sitting across from me. Bella lay on the couch in his office, there was no time to get the poison out, and she had lost too much blood for that option.

"The rain, you know what it does," I replied refusing to look up, my eyes were rimmed red, proof of what I had done.

"Alice did you know?" Rose asked looking cross

"Not like this, it wasn't supposed to happen like this." Alice said dropping to the ground.

"So you knew he would attack her," she asked appalled.

"NO! It was just supposed to be like the last time, absolutely nothing was going to happen to her, and then Emmett pushed him out of the way and he snapped." Alice said looking towards Edward for confirmation.

"She's not lying, that was all that was supposed to happen, as soon as she saw it change I took off but it was too late." Edward said leaning up against the wall.

"She was coming over, I offered to drive her here but she wanted to give her truck some attention, that's why Emmett and I weren't going to go far, so that I could be back before she got here." I said looking up for the first time. "Things can change sound familiar?" I said with no conviction, I wanted to die on the spot, nothing was left anymore.

"Don't even try it," Alice said sitting in front of me "look she's going to need you when she comes out, do you really want to leave her like this?" she said taking my face in her hands.

"What about Charlie?" Esme said speaking for the first time.

"We can't move her yet, no matter what we need to do she can't be moved until she wakes up." Carlisle said leaving the room slowly one by one they all left leaving me in the silence of the room until pain hit me like lightning. Searing pain went through me as she screamed out her body violently rising off of the table, I quickly sent out a wave of calm taking the pain into me. She would feel nothing.

**A.P.O.V**

_What have I done?_ My body seized up all emotion I was like the stone my body felt as I sat on the end of the couch in my room. _My room,_ _I had ruined her life, this was never supposed to happen like this, , not a hunting accident. _I was selfish I wanted him back and ruined a live trying.

"You didn't know it would happen," Edward said walking in

"Yes I did, just not her, why do you think I started watching him like a hawk. I knew it would happen eventually, I just never thought it would be anytime soon." I said drawing my legs close to me.

"Alice there's no way you could have known." He said sitting next to me

"They were going to be fine, all throughout her little life, it changed you know; what I saw. She wasn't going to hate him because he was never going to change her; she was just going to go to sleep. "I said smiling the wincing as another scream rang out, a mix of the two.

"He's channeling it, trying to stop her from feeling it." Edward said pulling me close

"Why?" I said resting my head on his shoulder

"Because he promised her he wouldn't let her go through it," Edward said shrugging

"I promised him that he would never have to fear himself, look where that got us." Another scream rang out. "He's not going to live through this," I said wincing

"He'll survive,"

"But he won't be the same," I said standing up.

"Just wait, not even you can predict that." He said staring up at me.

"I ruined her life you know,"

"I know," he said standing up, hearing the conviction only made the pain worse.

**J.P.O.V**

She was burning, the poison cause a fever so deep that nothing could cool her down. It was like fire,

_I'm sleeping, but then I'm burning all I see is fire,_

I could not do it anymore, she would get glimpses of pain but they would intensify as I tried to hold it in. It had been two days.

"You have to stop this," Carlisle said walking into the office

"I can't," I said shaking my head,

"You are only making it worse, you don't think the whole house can't feel it, you're only doubling what she should get," he said forcing me to look at him, "she only has one day left, you have to stop this." My body relaxed as I let all the tension out of it, I was pain free for the first time, she did not scream out and her features relaxed.

"Ironic, trying to stop her from pain I only made it worse," I said resting my head in my hands

"Come down stairs, she will be ok." He said leading me out the room and down the stairs; little whimpers rang out as we walked.

**A.N. I really am uncertain about this ordeal, let me know what you think about it!**


	19. tears

**A.N. writing everyday did not happen =( I really really am sorry for not updating at a constant time! Here we go!**

It was three days.

**Ba Bump Ba Bump**

We were all standing in the office at the figure lying on the table in front of us. He face was smooth not a wrinkle to it, she looked peaceful almost.

**Ba Bump Ba Bump**

My monster, my sweet Bella was going to wake up at anytime. We all knew it; it was just a matter of time.

**Ba Bump Ba Bump**

Her face scrunched up and her breathing increased, letting out a finally scream her body lifted up off the table and the all was still. The noise of her heart was no more. All in the room held their breaths as her eyes began to flutter; her eyes opened quickly their blood red color almost matched my own.

"Bella," Carlisle asked causing her to quickly jump up and put her back to the nearest corner. She looked around at each of us Rose and Emmett together in the corner of the room, Carlisle and Esme standing together at the desk, Edward was standing close by, and finally her eyes landed on me. Her red eyes slitted as she screamed lunging towards me; knocking me into the bookshelf behind me.

"You!" she screamed holding onto my throat, I only looked at her there was nothing to say. "Why? You didn't even stop, I remember you never stopped you just kept coming. I didn't even get the chance to run." She said letting go and falling to the floor.

"Bella,"

"No!" she screamed a light pink liquid had began to run down her cheeks, it was the last tears she would ever cry. "You promised, you said you wouldn't let me burn!" she said throwing the nearest book at me. I didn't even flinch; I would take whatever she did.

"I broke it, I wish there was something else I could tell you," she would not look at me, she only pointed at the door. My cue to leave.

**Esme P.O.V.**

It was heartbreaking trying to pick her up off the floor. She remembered everything from the previous life. It was a relief, Carlisle had told me once that people tried to forget their lives after something tragic happened. She didn't want to move,

"Bella, sweetheart you can't just stay here you have to get up. " I said sitting next to her and wiping her eyes

"I'm crying?" she said laughing as well "even like this I still cry," she said shaking her head in disbelief.

"I cried after I woke up, I had lost a child and tried to end everything with a cliff; they brought me to the morgue. I was still alive and Carlisle changed me, I cried when I awoke but things get better." She looked at me perplexed

"He wasn't supposed to do this, I'm sorry I'm being a child." She said shaking her head again. I gently pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her,

"You are a child my dear, that's nothing to be ashamed of," I whispered into her ear allowing her just to sit there until she was ready to move.

**B.P.O.V**

Everything was different now; I could see the dust in the air clearly while standing outside. The groves in the surface of the metal railing surrounding the porch, the small holes in the leaves of the trees, I could hear the beat of a birds wings and the hum of a bug that I could not see. Esme would not let me stay inside, she told me to bathe and then to go outside. I sat in the yard just lying there watching as the sun did dazzling things to my skin.

"You can get lost with all the different things you'll find," Rose said coming and sitting next to me

"Does it ever change?" I asked looking up at her

"Yes and no, you don't freak out about things as much, but when you find something new its like the first day all over again." She said smiling and closing her eyes lying next to me.

"What's going to happen now?" I asked looking over at her.

"Carlisle is talking about moving us all again, but we have to think of a story for what has happened to you. I don't think your father will take she just ran away." She said sighing.

"He's not going to take any of this well at all." I said closing my eyes too. The sun held no real warmth, I knew it was there but it did not matter I was the same temperature as ever.

"How much of a look did you get at him when you woke up?" Rose asked after what felt like forever,

"Not much," I admitted I knew who she was talking about, she was the only one who would bring him up, I knew where in the house he was I just wasn't ready to face him again.

"Try your hardest not to stare at him please, he will notice when you do it." I sat up and looked at her intently she threw up her hands and would not say anymore.

**A.N please let me know what you think! I love hearing your thoughts! =)**


	20. Burned

**A.N. So illness has prevented me once again from getting this up in a quick time. Hope it makes up for it =)**

**J.P.O.V **

I knew she was in the room. The lights were off and my eyes were closed but felt her presence. Her scent was different now; instead of a tempting, bloodthirsty smell radiating off of her it was sweet. Strawberries and cream almost, it was tempting in a completely different way. The rustling of her clothes seemed nonexistent if it wasn't for the smell of her she may have escaped completely.

"This is different," she whispered crossing her legs in front of me, I smiled lightly in return,

**B.P.O.V.**

He was on the floor not moving a muscle just sitting there, I crossed my legs and sat next to him taking everything in. "This is different," I said causing him to smile halfheartedly. "Jasper why are you in the dark?" I said allowing the confusion to radiate throughout my being.

"I didn't turn the light on," he said hiding a grin. I sighed deeply and stood up turning the light on, I could see him before, maybe not as clearly as I could now but I could faintly see the marks marring his skin before. I knew he could feel the pity I had for him, but I would not verbally say it, instead I sat back in front of him and closed my own eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly

"Playing pretend now hush," I said allowing a glimpse of a smile to be heard in my voice. Reaching out my hands came in contact with his arms, smooth as stone still yet my fingers were able to leave dents in his arm easily, I smiled I could not help the joy that spread throughout me causing my body to hum. I continued up his arms until I reached the sleeves. "Off," I said he quickly followed through with my command. The marks were greater here more in number than his arms, they were everywhere. Rough under my now sensitive touch; it was almost mind-blowing that I never noticed them until now. My hands continued their pattern up coming into contact with his face I traced his lips and when they parted my fingertips traced his teeth, leaning forward I pressed my lips to his gently.

**J.P.O.V.**

She hid it very well. The pity she felt for me almost caused me to jump out of my skin. I was tired of pity I was hoping for something new, I knew she was trying to hide it with her 'close your eyes and pray it goes away' method. When she began tracing the contours of my arms, as soon as her fingertips dented my skin she became elated causing me to smile brightly. After what seemed like forever her lips pressed against mine causing a fire to erupt underneath my skin. I threw my arms around her pulling her closer to me not ever wanting to let her go.

"Jasper….. I'm….Shouldn't….snapped," she tried to apologized between breathe but I forcefully cut her off pulling her away.

"Never, you should never apologize for what I did to you," I said shaking my head and quickly going to the window, "Alice told me you were going to go to sleep one day and not wake up. I hated myself for not letting that affect me. I was going to lose you and that was okay; especially after you told me not to let you burn."

"That's why you became so distant? Because I had a nightmare about burning?" she said laughing a little wrapping her arms around my waist. "I burned Jasper, and I'm happy for it."

**A.N. Okay I know this is really short but I didn't want to run it into anything else. Please let me know what you think! =)**


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